Feed The Ducks

I. Am. A. Dumbass.

Not only did I spill the beans about a friend's Christmas gift entirely too early, but I put him in a very awkward spot.

Hang on a second while I bang my head against the floor.



I had what I thought to be the greatest and most perfect gift I've ever given anyone and I screwed it up, royally.

You see, I've known this guy going on four years. We met in some chatroom online shortly before I moved away from Houston. And throughout all that time he's one of the very few people I've maintained contact with strictly through phone calls and emails.

Until next February.

My plan for his Christmas gift was to fly him over, along with a pair of tickets to see one of his favorite artists (Fiona Apple) open for Coldplay here in Houston. Naturally my plan was to meet him face to face for the very first time. You know, put a three dimensional body to the voice.

It never occurred to me that he may not be ready for that step.

So, when his first reaction was to be nervous, and a bit hesitant, it was like a slap in the face. I must have been so overly excited at the thought of hearing his reaction to what I was giving him that I never thought it'd make him anything less than happy.

Nevermind the fact that I've been in his spot before.

I've met several of my 'internet buddies.' However all but one were talked about in great length before both parties agreed to the meeting. The exception being a dare and involving over a thousand miles, but I've spoken of that one before so I won't repeat myself.

Anyway, after talking it through and him telling me many, many times that he was not nervous I made him promise me to let me know, at any time, if he wasn't comfortable with the whole idea and I would back out without a word. No concert, no meeting, no anything. He could enjoy the whole experience without me, alone, or with whoever he chose to bring.
No questions asked.

I have a tendency to get in way over my head sometimes. My ideas run away with me and I'm so eager to please at times that I don't prepare myself for a person's initial reaction. But I hate for my friends to miss out on opportunities. For instance, this will be the first time he's flown. The first time he's seen Miss Apple perform live. The first time he's been to Houston (and Texas).

It'll be the first time we meet.

Luckily I always get people 'back-up' gifts, things I know can't go wrong.



Random thought of the day: Eh, nothing else.

Future Me

I know, it's been a while.

Sue me.

I came across the niftiest website when visiting the guestbook of another blogger. This site allows you to write an email to yourself (or someone else) to be delivered in the future. 'Future' meaning a few days, months, up to a couple decades (whether or not the website will be around that long is another story).

I took the liberty of emailing myself, for the message to arrive on my twenty-sixth birthday (July of next year).

I didn't know what to tell myself. I just opened a blank page and started typing, basically jogging my memory of past recent events: my best friend's wedding, my vacation, and good friends.

One thing of note I didn't mention was having grown up and shedding bad habits. I told myself I hope I don't fall into the same circles I've been going in and wanting to kick myself afterwards. I bring some of these bad things upon myself and the worries and burdens are all things I created. I hope by my next birthday I've learned from my mistakes.

On the other hand, I also did tell myself that despite what may be going I'm loved as I am. I'm surrounded by some people who sincerely love me and want to see me happy.

That may sound like an afterschool special, but sometimes when the chips are down and you don't think you're going to make it to the next day you need to hear something like that, especially at times when you're being reflective of your own life, such as when birthdays occur. Funny how times like that can depress a person!

I hope the site spreads like wild fire because personally, I find the idea to be incredibly unique.

Course, if it doesn't last very long and my email doesn't get delivered on my next birthday and I happen to be contemplating the meaning of my life and wondering if it's worth it I'm going to be seriously pissed in my afterlife!



Random thought of the day: Devising plans that work. Keeping secrets. Meetings. Deafening emotions.