No hablo Espanol . . .

I can't help the way I look.

And I look Hispanic.

I AM Hispanic.

But I do not speak spanish.

Don't hold that against me. If you wish you can speak with my parents. I was never taught spanish growing up. In fact my brothers and I were sort of pushed into being as Americanized as possible.

Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. I mean, we do live in America and learning english, being able to speak and read it well is practically a necessity. However I'm not the type of person that believes one should return back to their country if they don't speak the language of the natives. I bet my ancestors ran into many people like that. And you want to know the funny thing? The opposite is happening to me now. In my line of work I run across so many people who believe I should be able to speak my 'native' tongue.

Nevermind the fact that I was born in the United States, as my parents and grandparents were. Speaking spanish was never something my parents felt I needed to know. This thought having stemmed from the fact that when they were kids they were forced to learn english in school. Their teachers, like a lot of teachers here in the southwest would ask students to tell their parents to speak English in their homes during their time. In fact I'm sure this request still goes on to this day in some schools.

Spanish was a first language for each of my parents. However because they used so little of it growing up they felt the same would be asked of us as were grew up so they figured, "Why bother teaching them?"

And now in our 20s and 30s we're faced with rude comments from others of our race, mostly first generation Americans (I'm a third), or the illegals.

Everyday I repeat the phrase, "I don't speak Spanish," at least a half dozen times. This usually brings the person to peer at my name, whisper, "Christina," with an emphasis on the 'r' and give me a look as if to say, "C'mon, I know you speak the language, quit lying." And usually they'll make light of the situation and ask me, "How can you not speak spanish? Your name is Christina."

To piss them off I say something like, "Yeah, but it's spelled the american way, with a 'Ch.'"

{In the spanish language 'Ch' is the fourth letter so if you were to say my name, as spelled, in spanish it would really sound like 'Tristina.'}

Either that or I'll point to the black chick with the same name and say, "She doesn't speak spanish either."

It's not that I don't want to learn. In fact I took two courses in highschool and aced them. But that was basic stuff and I've retained a lot of what I learned. I know how to ask for the time, tell someone it's hot or cold, I can count in spanish and I know most of the days and months, but I can't hold a decent conversation in spanish to save my life.

Although I've been accused of holding out. I've had several people tell me I know spanish I just don't want to speak it.

*Mutters*

If that isn't the biggest load of . . .

I've been in many arguments with people who don't believe me. Two years ago, on Thanksgiving, I was called an 'English speaking bitch.'

The man was thrown out.

And just the other day I had a buddy of mine, a white guy, speak up for me when I was having it out with this Hispanic man because he believed I was lying. And on top of that a black man listening to the whole conversation spoke up and said he knew plenty of people like me, people who were never taught spanish.

I can come across rude at times, I know that. And trust me, I try not to jump the gun before I hear something out of someone's mouth, but when you were born in my generation with parents and grandparents born in the States and you have no accent whatsoever and you have to deal with stupid people all day you'd have a small chip on your shoulder too. I can communicate with deaf people and a very lovely couple who only speaks Russian so if you find it difficult to get your points across to me then that's your problem. Don't give me your lecture because it's only falling on deaf ears. I'm not asking you to learn the English language, so don't tell me I need to learn spanish.




Random thought of the day: I really need to stop scratching my arms so much. I look like a junkie going through withdrawal.